Namaste London!

So life can take quite some turns, huh!

After finally getting my life on track, settling in (and starting to like) Mumbai and my new job, another change awaited me. A new year, a new global city.

London!

Another move. Sometimes, I find it almost funny the way things have turned out for me. From not having left my hometown for almost 26 years of my existence, I have now lived in 4 global cities of the world in less than three years!

Phewww. That has been something.

Apart from the excitement, tons of new experiences and discovering new ways of living in each of these places, it has also meant painfully packing up kilos of luggage and even more painful unpacking, over and over again. How the word 'pack' irritates me now.

So, London. I arrived here unfortunately in the worst weather. London almost got a red flood alert that week. And I was not prepped up for that kind of cold. It was drippy, freezy, windy and so, so grey in the first month. I was still able to deal with the cold but the rain and high speed winds really got to me. Like how much can you wrap yourself up, right! And it is hardly encouraging when people tell you that it was hardly cold this year - because it didn't snow! Isn't that a relief to know that what when felt I could die wasn't exactly the worst.

But, it is just so lovely when the sun is out! I finally understand why people in Europe so await the arrival of summers and the sun - it hardly shows up here! So there was some sun and I made it a point to soak up a lot of it. I visited some fab places - Westminister, Buckingham Palace, Oxford Street (and I shopped! ), Madame Tussaud's, Sherlock Holmes museum etc etc. But what I have truly relished the most is visiting streets, tube stations and even restaurants featured in the books that I devoured growing up - the Enid Blyton's, Agatha Christie's and the latest, J K Rowling's. So whether it is Bond street, Baker street, Paddington station - it has all been much fun! But what I am waiting for most is to go on a Harry Potter walking tour which takes place within the city and in nearby areas where the movie was shot.

The weather has picked up beautifully since I first arrived here. Having always lived in a hot climate which essentially burns you, I need the sun! The grey sky gets to me sometimes, but its sunnier, brighter and so much less cold now. And having started work again, my spirits have so picked up.

Sooo looking forward to the approaching summer and exploring Europe like crazy!

Tada

  

Unemployment ke side effects

Yawwn !!

Been sleeping too long, haven't I :D

Well, I am awake now and hopefully would be so from now on, here on this page at least.

I kinda try to do new things, big or small. Some things are done on purpose. Like temporary unemployment. Somethings happen on their own.

Like extended unemployment.

I Have to say the initial months weren't great.

They were awesome!!

The freedom from corporate world was exhilarating! Like freed from a 9am-6pm cage.

There was so much on my plate. A new life, a new city, a completely new way of living. The months off helped me get in the thick of things, set up house etc etc. But now the no work routine is something I am looking to get off, things are just taking their own sweet time to shape up, hence the extension of the unemployment.

I was up to a lot of other things as well during this time. Things which I call side effects of unemployment. A look :

• Reading, reading and more reading. The voraciousness is back !! I am devouring books at a blitzkrieg pace, reading everything from Hindu mythology fiction, India's freedom struggle to marketing in Internet age and what not; including Harry Potter - Book 7, probably the sixth time. JKR, am still a fan \m/  And, I already have a list of ten titles in line.
• Sleeping like never before. Why a side effect? Coz I find sleeping a waste of time. Thankfully, this didn't last long.
• Made more than the usual number of trips to my beloved Delhi, than would have been possible. And spent some Quality family time.
• Writing this after a hiatus.
• Movies - of course. With my new LED, lazy afternoons turn me into a couch potato at times and I end up catching up on movies- the crappiest and the nicest ones . Crappiest -- hindi version of Serendipity; Not even going into it. Baaah
• Came around to knowing names (Mind you, ONLY names) of Hindi soaps.
• Saw Titanic ten more times and fell in love with it all over again - every single time.
• Oscillating dangerously between frustration of sitting unemployed and giving up the comforts of sitting unemployed :D
• Logged on to Linked In more number of times than I ever did these past years combined!
• Took to cooking and realized that I actually enjoy it a lot.

I guess that has been pretty much it. The hunt is on to get back to corporate world , but till then it is about doing all these things I never had the time for.

Till the next post, Adios

Decisions, decisions

Sometimes there is so much happening in your life that it takes one fine day to realize that a significant amount of time has slipped away, without you having the faintest clue of how and where it went away. You are supposed to have aged but you don't feel it. 10 months back you were going to office, working your a** off, coming back home, fixing yourself a meal, catching up on stuff (if time permits), sleep off to start another similar day and then letting your hair down over weekends. The usual work life routine. Days go by like this. Ten months later you are still going to office, working your a** off, coming back home, fixing yourself a meal, catching up on stuff (if time permits), sleep off to start another similar day and then letting your hair down over weekends.

Does something change during this time? Something does. Something intangible. I have felt it, I feel it. Is it feeling aged? Am not so sure. Even though every birthday post my twenty fifth has been spent lamenting on me being pushed to the terrorizing figure of 30, I am back to routine within a few weeks. So, I can say that it is not exactly the fear of growing up. I think it is what growing up forces you do. 

Take decisions. 

Not to decide which new restaurant to try out tonight (which is one the hardest things I have to do), but to decide upon stuff which can be life altering. And with every such milestone I cross, I look back and suddenly the previous decision looks like a cakewalk. I know, the usual restrospective thought process.

Another thought which is not so comforting is that suddenly the stakeholders (or their number) involved in the decision making/affected by the decision, increases. You are no longer deciding for yourself. Soon, it will be time for you to take decisions for other "human beings". 

Human beings.

Life, you are not making decision making any easier. The thought of being responsible for other lives is mildly discomforting. Whoever said growing up is fun, lied. I wanna be that schoolchild again who was scolded by her parents, bullied by siblings and was told what to do and what not to do!

Phew, life was so much simpler when I was a kid. And the only thing I wanted to do back then was grow up. Boy, does the 16 year older me wants me to go back and tell the 10 yr old me: 

We screwed up, stay there !!          

the change agents

The change agents work faster than we think they do. Just when you think that you have figured out the next step in your journey (that too after months of deliberation), there comes that gust of wind which fogs the path which looked crystal clear just a few days back and clears up the path which was never to be trodden upon again.

What does it take for these agents of change to come swooping down on us so surreptitiously?

It can be a deep, deep longing for the magic touch, which hits you with an unexpected force; It can be a craving to walk down those familiar paths again, the same ones you never wanted to put foot on again; It can be a dormant desire to touch those faces you left behind, the desire you never expected to become active so soon;

It can be a person's casual mention of your beloved hometown; It can be a heart to heart with your mother after a long time which makes you realize that that is one friend which is always there for you; It is sometimes usurping of the physical spaces you gradually started believing to be your rightful belonging because of the precious memories they possess, and the fear that those memories will now fade away ...

Or sometimes all it takes is a hazy, fading dream of all those people they call family ....

Team Dynamics

So, the day I had unknowingly been waiting for finally arrived. That is another story that it took my room mate four-five attempts to wake me up on this particular day.

I was finally going to get to play ! And that too a team game, something I have rarely done. FYI, I am no sports person. I don't have medals to speak of. But, I love Sports. And yes, like loads of other professions that I could have excelled in, I have often dreamed about winning the Wimbeldon or an Olympics medal.

Move on to the day. There was going to be a throwball and a volleyball match. Throwball for the ladies and Volleyball for the men. All geared up to play for my team, Team Blue Monks ( Yaah, I knowwWWWW, its silly! ), I came to know that there was going to be some shuffling because of some missing team members. One of my team had to go to the other.

Numbers were assigned to every person. Whoever's number was called out had to play for the other team. I was assigned five. I went away to practice not expecting a five to be called out when there were Eight numbers to be chosen from. I mean what are the odds!

"FIVE", I heard a voice shout. NO !! This can't be. They call Not three ... Not seven .... FIVE !

With a funny feeling, I went to play for the other team. It was a sudden shift from what I was mentally prepared for. My solace? I was going to be playing with one of the best sportswomen I have come across, my room pal, Al Arab Ballafi.

Game 1 begins. Instead of going into the details, Ill make it easy. We were Royally screwed.

And then it happened.

God sent us an angel. An angel who was dressed in pink, truly representative of something called as 'Victorious Secret'. Yes, it was Vinnensota, our very own Mir Ranjan Negi.

Innundating us with his wisdom-ous wisdom, he pumped us up to play as a team, to shuffle players and to attack the other team on its Achilles' Heel. No later, tables turned. From being down to a very shameful score, we went ahead and took a lead in the score. There was a definite shift in the momentum and the team was visibly gelling together. There were hi-fi's all around and an urgency to defeat the other team.

And me? Well, Not for a split second did the thought come into my mind that I was actually playing against my own team. All that mattered during those few minutes was that I give it my best and get the team I was playing for, home.

We lost eventually, but not before putting up a big fight. The team (under the able guidance of our coach, Of Course) stuck together and fought well. As for me, I did not know exactly what to feel. I wanted to be happy for my actual team, but it was not that easy!

It was a Team Win, but a Personal Loss.

I got a good taste of team dynamics that day. Like I said, I have never played official team games. Except for the time when my two bodyguards ably defended me during PaintBall. That actually makes for another interesting story.

Anyhow, my team stands at position 2. The "Monks" are meditating ( Bah! ). Looking forward to more team games.

Till then, Adios !

a prayer and a thought

My brains have been hibernating these days. With a major backlog of sleep from the previous week, I have almost resembled a walking zombie. Anyhow, I thought of catching up on a movie last evening. A better option would have been to turn on a rom-com, which I could have seen even with my eyes closed, but instead, I chose to go for this complex, use-your-head sci-fi. No wonder my zapped out brains turned my eyes off somewhere during the all important climax.

Morning arrives. The realization of missing out on the ending (I don't like leaving movies half-seen) and the craving to watch it, dawn. A quick prayer goes up "Dear God, please make my car pool guys late by 15 minutes". It was a HUGE shot in the dark, by the way, since these guys are punctual to the point of being painful, and I mean Real painful. That's another story, but. I get ready and wait for that godforsaken call, any second now. Temptation takes over and I start the movie. A minute of the climax if nothing else, maybe.

Five minutes go by. No call. Eight. Ten. Twelve. Could this Really be happening? Movie ends. Credits roll. The phone rings.

**Drumrolls** Prayer answered! Thank you Lord for making something that hasn't happened in months, happen!

I pick up my bag (I haven't changed it yet). A thought that usually enters my head at times like these, enters: "Kya yaar, kuch aur maang liya hota toh shaayad woh bhi mil jaata!!" Usual greediness at work, I know. I start thinking: Simple prayers like these sometimes get answered so instantaneously, they totally make your day. You just got to wait a we..e..ee bit longer for those paramount life-altering ones (admit, job, life-partner). Maybe, it takes that bit longer because what you want may not not always be what is right for you.

With that thought, I leave my home, smiling.

Simple Things

We all have our special moments and our special people that give us immense happiness; be it a pay-off for our hard work, a work assignment performed well, close friends, family etc. Apart from cherishing these precious memories, isn't it equally important to appreciate the everyday miracle that life itself is?

Amidst our mad rush to meet everyday deadlines and making it through the challenging and competitive times, we sometimes forget to stop, and simply look around us in awe; look around at this world which survived eons of time to be what it is today; look at the freshness of the green trees, the crystal blueness of a cloudless sky, the mysterious aura of the twilight settling in; look up at the heavens at those millions of spheres revolving around one another in perfect balance, all part of a perfect design.

There is a colossal sense of wonderment and amazement when we really go deep into 'trying' to understand the complex (and yet so simple) machinery that is making this planet and million others like ours, tick harmoniously. This itself makes everyday and anyday worth living for. We are so used to these things work for us so perfectly, that you and I sometimes just take them for granted, somethings as common as the working of the human body or the mere existence of life!

If we really open up our eyes and start Looking, small events happen all the time around us, something like listening to a completely new song and realizing that you can figure out the strumming pattern; walking that extra mile as an excuse to get drenched in the first rains of the season; watching, the next morning, two pigeons peck in the puddle of water left from the previous day; managing to sing a very low-scale song without wanting to murder yourself; that guy who is about to peck his girl's cheek, but stops abashed when he sees you smiling at them; buying a dozen ice candies just for yourself and your sister, and then licking them at one in the night; watching that motorcyclist jump a light when the traffic cop looks away to stop a similar offender; the stray dog which wags its tail at you on a display of affection; staying awake for two extra hours to master that song you love on your guitar, fully cognizant of the disastrous effects of sleep the next day; making it through that next day; pretending to work while actually writing this post.

After all, it takes just these simple things to make us smile. Who needs to wait for some major life changing event to make us happy? Why let the days go past us in that wait? Why not find one such moment everyday, a moment which gives us that sense of innate happiness and peace and brings a smile on our face, the one that comes from within us, from somewhere deep within our hearts? Its not that tough, you know!

Look around you. This world is scattered with millions of tiny specs of beauty which have the power to make every single day beautiful and your stay here on this wonderful planet all the more worthwhile.
They are simply waiting for your attention.

Bag this

For months I had wanted a new bag since the one I was using had only one compartment and one small pocket. To find something as regular as my wallet was like opening a Pandora's box. Infinite things popped out, some of which I assumed I had misplaced for sure. Everything had to be turned upside down to reach down to that slinking object in question.

I have a new bag now. This one has three compartments and four extra pockets to segregate all my belongings which are Huge in number, by the way. All my things are now compartmentalized in an ordered manner; medicines in one; important papers in the other etc. Its Just that now I forget which pocket I kept a certain object in. Remember how the last key in a bunch is usually the right one? Keys love to do that to me; and in this case, the pockets pick up from where the keys let go. My new battle involves unzipping and zipping back the multiple pockets to find that slinking object in question.

Suddenly, the idea of one compartment doesn't sound that bad. I think I'll change back the bags today.

winds of change

Four years of "I-don't-have-a-care-in-the-world". Four years of "Arre-yaar-koi-tension-nahi-hai". Four years of "complete-masti-and-no-responsibilities".
So much has changed.

... 3 Rs. ki banta has given way to expensive cocktails.
... The "kadai paneer, do naan" of Canteen have been taken over by exotic mexican and thai cuisines.... Metro and Chawla dhabba have been dethroned by jazzy pubs and lounges.... Haggling with rickshaw and auto waalas has become unnecessary since that new shiny car was bought.... Keeping in touch with friends through "missed" calls and 1 ps texts have long been dismissed by Gtalk and other virtual agents.... Deadlines for finishing copied and xeroxed assignments no longer seem Herculean tasks in front of meeting project completion dates.

I look out of my office window and see two laborers relaxing and chatting under a tree in a lush green lawn. They probably just got done with their work for the day. I see a long driveway, flanked by fountains, leading up to a massive building. The building isn't a red-brick structure though. The doors open and strong winds blow through my hair.

Some memories stir.

The winds bring the same soothing effect they once did. The greenery, the driveway, the trees feel the same, the way they did years back. There is an image in my head. A huge green lawn with trees and shrubs planted randomly. A lazy afternoon with a balmy sun. Sunlight playing with the leaves, leaving beautiful patterns on the grass. Plates with some unfinished food lie strewn. A couple of 20 year olds sitting under a tree, completing practical files. A few others, sleeping. Still others talking aimlessly.

Its a nice image.

down and out

I think the last comic strip did not cut across as funny. Is it?

I found it damn funny! Especially, Calvin's expression in the third slide is unmatchable! It is so innocent! The thought conveyed was exactly my thought that day.

Anyhow, getting ill is so not cool. More so when it happens bang in the middle of the night. That is because your woozy brain simply refuses to signal your eyes to open up until the moment the pains reach their unbearable level.

So, after fighting nausea, drowsiness, a pathetic and stubborn stomach ache and innumerable dashes to the washroom for some three hours, at 3 o'clock in the night, I was left with a nearly empty stomach, which, by the way, could give Usain Bolt a run for his money, and an upper back muscle pull from the previous day. Yes, all the different kinds of commonly found virus (bacteria, whatever; Ingluorious Basterds for me) chose precisely the very same moment to attack.

Oh no, wait. The one that induces high temperature and full body ache kind of got left behind. But not for long. Whats a few hours in the grand scheme of things, isn't it?

Now, I am the kind of person who associates doctors with nothing less than God himself. In fact, every time I fall really sick, one of my thoughts runs as: "I should have become a Doc, what the hell Am I doing being an engineer(its not like I am serving any good to anyone right now anyway!)". The fact that they bring you out of your misery is no small feat, right? So what if it is some common malaise. Because when you are in the middle of it, even a splitting headache drives you crazy.

I don't even have to go far. I have two amazing doctors at home who also happen to be my parents. So, when I see my mother awake alongside me the entire night trying her best to cure me, that mushy, gooey feeling drowns my heart completely. Maybe, what I said above makes more sense now.

Anyhow, I was pretty much bed-ridden almost the entire next day and had more than usual time to observe things around me. And more than usual time to observe myself. I realized how much I was craving for the company of my people at home and how much closer I felt to them. My routine post-office hours are mostly spent either on my guitar or on casual catching up with friends. Last things on my mind this time around. Wherein phone calls from parents are quickly disposed off (unfortunately with some irritation if the number of calls exceeds umm ..two with the topic of the calls being the same), every call, once an hour, from my mother to check up on me felt so bloody awesome.
As for my siblings, I'm blessed to have such a sweet and caring brother; rushing off to buy food edible for my pampered stomach, albeit a lil grudgingly. Can't blame him. Pressures of competitive exams! And my sister; I think I can take a lesson or two in patience from her. Even though she had a big exam the next day, she took so, so much care of me, chatting with me when I wanted and keeping up with my irritating demands; all the while keeping her studies aside. Though an important point to be mentioned is that the studies would have in any case not commenced before satisfactory doses of sleep, chattering over the phone, commenting on facebook status messages and watching an Upper East Side saga of love and betrayal (dear sis, don't kill me for this),
The two of them probably ignored what a high-headed and impatient big sister I sometimes can be. Even my mother, who sometimes has to bear the brunt of a rebellious 25 year old going through changes in her life .... Basically, the whole thing made me realize, again, how strong and unconditional the bond that we call Family, is. Its not that I am some loner who doesn't value it. I know that when the whole world will turn its back on me, I will always have these people to fall back upon. For me, my family and friends are the most important people in this world. Its just that, in this fast life and in meeting day to day deadlines, I sometimes take my family for granted because I just expect them to be There anytime I need them. And I know that I will be there as well anytime I am required. That's what families are for, right? These couple of days just gave me time to introspect. Since then, I am trying to be more aware of their needs and demands. I just hope this lasts longer than the last time the realization dawned.

To sum it up, in the words of Joey Tribbiani:

".... and there is nothing more important in the whole world .... than family"