Uncluttering

The mind is requesting for a pensieve ...

The body is begging for rest ...

.. And the heart, .... the heart is silently screaming to be heard ..

Its 12:30 am. An assignment needs to be finished. A quiz needs to be prepared. In the midst of all this, I realize what is missing. Its the tender touch, the warm hug that says "I know that times are tough. I probably can't make it go away, but I can make it easier for you with a hug. You are safe here"

Its the midas touch. Of your mother..

Stumbling, falling, getting up, moving

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going,
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.

Nor do I really know myself,
and the fact that I think I am following your will
does not mean that I am actually doing so.

But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.

I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road,
though I may know nothing about it.

I will not fear, for you are ever with me,
and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

__________________________________

in Thoughts in Solitude by Thomas Merton

A thought for THE day

Sometimes you meet people that you connect with just like that .. Like on Day 1 itself. You have ten people standing in front of you, but somehow your eyes find them and simply, rest on them.

And slowly and unknowingly they creep into your life and take a special place. You become so used to their presence, that it is their absence that makes you realize their importance .. and well all you want is to care for them and wish for them to be safe.

They may not do bigg things .. its just the little and special things they do ... :)

Team Dynamics

So, the day I had unknowingly been waiting for finally arrived. That is another story that it took my room mate four-five attempts to wake me up on this particular day.

I was finally going to get to play ! And that too a team game, something I have rarely done. FYI, I am no sports person. I don't have medals to speak of. But, I love Sports. And yes, like loads of other professions that I could have excelled in, I have often dreamed about winning the Wimbeldon or an Olympics medal.

Move on to the day. There was going to be a throwball and a volleyball match. Throwball for the ladies and Volleyball for the men. All geared up to play for my team, Team Blue Monks ( Yaah, I knowwWWWW, its silly! ), I came to know that there was going to be some shuffling because of some missing team members. One of my team had to go to the other.

Numbers were assigned to every person. Whoever's number was called out had to play for the other team. I was assigned five. I went away to practice not expecting a five to be called out when there were Eight numbers to be chosen from. I mean what are the odds!

"FIVE", I heard a voice shout. NO !! This can't be. They call Not three ... Not seven .... FIVE !

With a funny feeling, I went to play for the other team. It was a sudden shift from what I was mentally prepared for. My solace? I was going to be playing with one of the best sportswomen I have come across, my room pal, Al Arab Ballafi.

Game 1 begins. Instead of going into the details, Ill make it easy. We were Royally screwed.

And then it happened.

God sent us an angel. An angel who was dressed in pink, truly representative of something called as 'Victorious Secret'. Yes, it was Vinnensota, our very own Mir Ranjan Negi.

Innundating us with his wisdom-ous wisdom, he pumped us up to play as a team, to shuffle players and to attack the other team on its Achilles' Heel. No later, tables turned. From being down to a very shameful score, we went ahead and took a lead in the score. There was a definite shift in the momentum and the team was visibly gelling together. There were hi-fi's all around and an urgency to defeat the other team.

And me? Well, Not for a split second did the thought come into my mind that I was actually playing against my own team. All that mattered during those few minutes was that I give it my best and get the team I was playing for, home.

We lost eventually, but not before putting up a big fight. The team (under the able guidance of our coach, Of Course) stuck together and fought well. As for me, I did not know exactly what to feel. I wanted to be happy for my actual team, but it was not that easy!

It was a Team Win, but a Personal Loss.

I got a good taste of team dynamics that day. Like I said, I have never played official team games. Except for the time when my two bodyguards ably defended me during PaintBall. That actually makes for another interesting story.

Anyhow, my team stands at position 2. The "Monks" are meditating ( Bah! ). Looking forward to more team games.

Till then, Adios !

A Thursday Night in International City

This is probably my seventh or eighth attempt at writing something after leaving home. Most were sorry attempts at writing something about the new world I was in. A few were for the heck of posting Anything on my almost-defunct blog.

This is another lame attempt. Actually, I just got done with revamping the look of my blog. Its a little too pink for my comfort but I guess I will make do with it for the time being!

Sooooo, its a Thursday night in Dubai; my only free evening in the entire week. Yes, its my weekend which will probably end in less than twenty-four hours. And in these twenty-hours am usually supposed to be partying, finishing assignments for the next week, catching up with family back home, doing the household chores and if some minutes permit, relaxing.

But then, its a choice I made. To leave my perfectly comfortable life and live this madness.

The madness of getting up every darn morning fully cognizant of the day that awaits me. The madness of meeting deadlines and making space for new deadlines in my already cluttered planner. The madness was at its peak in the first couple of months.

Has it reduced? ... I don't think so. I guess I have just become used to it! And what has become of the person?

Well, the person is definitely facing new challenges. The challenges of, say, living without proper meals! This slightly spoilt kid was fed proper breakfast every morning at home and special care was taken to customize food to suit my taste buds. Other stuff would gag me.

Not anymore. The taste no longer bothers me. I guess the parallel mental calculations of making it through yet another day have made my taste buds immune. Where my mom would take special care in cooking low-cal fat-free food for me, here I am living on junk, floating-in-oil food every single day.

I have learnt to live without a full-length mirror, of rushing out of my room in dripping, imperfect hair. Back home, I couldn't even dream about it.

My mom would get the shock of her life if she knew that the bed I am sleeping in probably gets cleaned once a week. Somehow I cherish that one minute of extra sleep I get from avoiding the chore. Sometimes, I end up sleeping on my books and clothes that litter the bed. Thank God for my angel roommate who at least keeps my laptop in a safe place when I fall asleep on it.

Yesterday, I finally found my hairbrush beneath my blanket. I had been looking for it for a week. Talk about throwing everything on the floor to find that missing thing. Trust me, its the easiest way to find missing objects in piles and piles of rubbish.

(Ok, that was a little bit exaggerated. I ain't that messy! Infact, I am quite a cleanliness freak. These are just a few side effects of a packed day :D )

So, right now, I have a laundry to take care of, a snack stock to be refilled, a research project to be done and a dance performance to be practiced upon, when all I want to do is pick up a guitar and learn this song I reall...ly like.

Sighhhh ... unfortunately life ain't that sweet. But then, am I complaining?

Hell, no .