uh-oh

So, I have picked up my guitar after some 30 days.

Thirty ! That is a lot if we consider the practices and the "singing" running into late nights and early mornings prior to that time.

I hit a chord. The sound is strange to my ears. The pain in my fingers ain't encouraging. And if all this is any indication, I don't wanna think of how it would be six months from now.

So basically picking up my guitar to shake off some sad, scary thoughts was not such a good idea. If anything, the count just increased by one.

sigghh ... looks like the search for a cathartic agent will go on ..

Flavors

I have been feeling too buoyant today. And with good reason! The light drizzle since morning has been gently tip-tapping against my office window. A walk around my green campus, in the gentle wind has taken my usually high spirits even higher.

And now, I have come across this ... sitting pretty, all tied up together.

I have been staring at this bundle of joy for almost fifteen minutes, intermittently switching to my boring, grey linux terminal. It perfectly sums up the flavors of my day. The sweet, earthy smelling browns sprouting with the abundant greens, which are bathed in the water droplets falling from a light grey, cloudy sky; a sky punctured with dashes of various yellows of the sunlight..

Now if only I could feed my taste buds ...

a prayer and a thought

My brains have been hibernating these days. With a major backlog of sleep from the previous week, I have almost resembled a walking zombie. Anyhow, I thought of catching up on a movie last evening. A better option would have been to turn on a rom-com, which I could have seen even with my eyes closed, but instead, I chose to go for this complex, use-your-head sci-fi. No wonder my zapped out brains turned my eyes off somewhere during the all important climax.

Morning arrives. The realization of missing out on the ending (I don't like leaving movies half-seen) and the craving to watch it, dawn. A quick prayer goes up "Dear God, please make my car pool guys late by 15 minutes". It was a HUGE shot in the dark, by the way, since these guys are punctual to the point of being painful, and I mean Real painful. That's another story, but. I get ready and wait for that godforsaken call, any second now. Temptation takes over and I start the movie. A minute of the climax if nothing else, maybe.

Five minutes go by. No call. Eight. Ten. Twelve. Could this Really be happening? Movie ends. Credits roll. The phone rings.

**Drumrolls** Prayer answered! Thank you Lord for making something that hasn't happened in months, happen!

I pick up my bag (I haven't changed it yet). A thought that usually enters my head at times like these, enters: "Kya yaar, kuch aur maang liya hota toh shaayad woh bhi mil jaata!!" Usual greediness at work, I know. I start thinking: Simple prayers like these sometimes get answered so instantaneously, they totally make your day. You just got to wait a we..e..ee bit longer for those paramount life-altering ones (admit, job, life-partner). Maybe, it takes that bit longer because what you want may not not always be what is right for you.

With that thought, I leave my home, smiling.

Simple Things

We all have our special moments and our special people that give us immense happiness; be it a pay-off for our hard work, a work assignment performed well, close friends, family etc. Apart from cherishing these precious memories, isn't it equally important to appreciate the everyday miracle that life itself is?

Amidst our mad rush to meet everyday deadlines and making it through the challenging and competitive times, we sometimes forget to stop, and simply look around us in awe; look around at this world which survived eons of time to be what it is today; look at the freshness of the green trees, the crystal blueness of a cloudless sky, the mysterious aura of the twilight settling in; look up at the heavens at those millions of spheres revolving around one another in perfect balance, all part of a perfect design.

There is a colossal sense of wonderment and amazement when we really go deep into 'trying' to understand the complex (and yet so simple) machinery that is making this planet and million others like ours, tick harmoniously. This itself makes everyday and anyday worth living for. We are so used to these things work for us so perfectly, that you and I sometimes just take them for granted, somethings as common as the working of the human body or the mere existence of life!

If we really open up our eyes and start Looking, small events happen all the time around us, something like listening to a completely new song and realizing that you can figure out the strumming pattern; walking that extra mile as an excuse to get drenched in the first rains of the season; watching, the next morning, two pigeons peck in the puddle of water left from the previous day; managing to sing a very low-scale song without wanting to murder yourself; that guy who is about to peck his girl's cheek, but stops abashed when he sees you smiling at them; buying a dozen ice candies just for yourself and your sister, and then licking them at one in the night; watching that motorcyclist jump a light when the traffic cop looks away to stop a similar offender; the stray dog which wags its tail at you on a display of affection; staying awake for two extra hours to master that song you love on your guitar, fully cognizant of the disastrous effects of sleep the next day; making it through that next day; pretending to work while actually writing this post.

After all, it takes just these simple things to make us smile. Who needs to wait for some major life changing event to make us happy? Why let the days go past us in that wait? Why not find one such moment everyday, a moment which gives us that sense of innate happiness and peace and brings a smile on our face, the one that comes from within us, from somewhere deep within our hearts? Its not that tough, you know!

Look around you. This world is scattered with millions of tiny specs of beauty which have the power to make every single day beautiful and your stay here on this wonderful planet all the more worthwhile.
They are simply waiting for your attention.

Bag this

For months I had wanted a new bag since the one I was using had only one compartment and one small pocket. To find something as regular as my wallet was like opening a Pandora's box. Infinite things popped out, some of which I assumed I had misplaced for sure. Everything had to be turned upside down to reach down to that slinking object in question.

I have a new bag now. This one has three compartments and four extra pockets to segregate all my belongings which are Huge in number, by the way. All my things are now compartmentalized in an ordered manner; medicines in one; important papers in the other etc. Its Just that now I forget which pocket I kept a certain object in. Remember how the last key in a bunch is usually the right one? Keys love to do that to me; and in this case, the pockets pick up from where the keys let go. My new battle involves unzipping and zipping back the multiple pockets to find that slinking object in question.

Suddenly, the idea of one compartment doesn't sound that bad. I think I'll change back the bags today.

The Ways of cricket

The past couple of months and the coming up months have been and will be a blessing for sports lovers. With awesome action promised in a wide range of sports, people have another excuse for gluing to screens and downing gallons of beer.

By the way, the above statements aren't meant for the typical Indian sports lover. The typical Indian fan's love for sports ...err... sport is heliocentric. It revolves around that billion dollar baby called cricket.

I don't need to state what has been stated again and again. Cricket is religion; cricketers are revered, with a certain player amongst them achieving the status of the infallible. The craze is sometimes claustrophobic, so much so that it was actually refreshing to meet someone who neither looked once at the screen showing twenty two men in green battling it out to stay alive in a cup chase nor passed a single, mind you, a single cricket-related comment during the three hour battle. There was a bet though. It was quite interesting that with such cricket infested brains all around us, someone successfully resisted the escapist and usually less painful route of "Religion" conversion. But, I won the bet. :)

The morning papers had totally lost it. Apparently, the ominous clouds overcasting India's world cup hopes suddenly had a silver lining. That sliver of hope, I think, had made the cricketing world mental. From analysts to 'experts' to commentators to ex-captains, everyone was out there giving their valuable opinions to the one-time champions and proving how complex calculations, performance of other teams and application of laws of probability could make India scrape through. The stage suddenly looked so perfectly set for the betting fraternity to keep the cash registers ringing. Surprisingly, India's almost promised premature exit had felt relieving. Not so surprisingly, the sudden flutter almost inconsequential.

But the real show stealer turned out to be the newspaper editor! After dedicating pages and never-ending lines to the above-mentioned, he finally selected Page 4 of the sports edition to give the Indian hockey team some respect for defeating the world champions for the first time in seven years. The respect was succinctly contained within fifteen lines.

Such is the madness. But like I say, there is always a charm in madness.

:)

winds of change

Four years of "I-don't-have-a-care-in-the-world". Four years of "Arre-yaar-koi-tension-nahi-hai". Four years of "complete-masti-and-no-responsibilities".
So much has changed.

... 3 Rs. ki banta has given way to expensive cocktails.
... The "kadai paneer, do naan" of Canteen have been taken over by exotic mexican and thai cuisines.... Metro and Chawla dhabba have been dethroned by jazzy pubs and lounges.... Haggling with rickshaw and auto waalas has become unnecessary since that new shiny car was bought.... Keeping in touch with friends through "missed" calls and 1 ps texts have long been dismissed by Gtalk and other virtual agents.... Deadlines for finishing copied and xeroxed assignments no longer seem Herculean tasks in front of meeting project completion dates.

I look out of my office window and see two laborers relaxing and chatting under a tree in a lush green lawn. They probably just got done with their work for the day. I see a long driveway, flanked by fountains, leading up to a massive building. The building isn't a red-brick structure though. The doors open and strong winds blow through my hair.

Some memories stir.

The winds bring the same soothing effect they once did. The greenery, the driveway, the trees feel the same, the way they did years back. There is an image in my head. A huge green lawn with trees and shrubs planted randomly. A lazy afternoon with a balmy sun. Sunlight playing with the leaves, leaving beautiful patterns on the grass. Plates with some unfinished food lie strewn. A couple of 20 year olds sitting under a tree, completing practical files. A few others, sleeping. Still others talking aimlessly.

Its a nice image.

down and out

I think the last comic strip did not cut across as funny. Is it?

I found it damn funny! Especially, Calvin's expression in the third slide is unmatchable! It is so innocent! The thought conveyed was exactly my thought that day.

Anyhow, getting ill is so not cool. More so when it happens bang in the middle of the night. That is because your woozy brain simply refuses to signal your eyes to open up until the moment the pains reach their unbearable level.

So, after fighting nausea, drowsiness, a pathetic and stubborn stomach ache and innumerable dashes to the washroom for some three hours, at 3 o'clock in the night, I was left with a nearly empty stomach, which, by the way, could give Usain Bolt a run for his money, and an upper back muscle pull from the previous day. Yes, all the different kinds of commonly found virus (bacteria, whatever; Ingluorious Basterds for me) chose precisely the very same moment to attack.

Oh no, wait. The one that induces high temperature and full body ache kind of got left behind. But not for long. Whats a few hours in the grand scheme of things, isn't it?

Now, I am the kind of person who associates doctors with nothing less than God himself. In fact, every time I fall really sick, one of my thoughts runs as: "I should have become a Doc, what the hell Am I doing being an engineer(its not like I am serving any good to anyone right now anyway!)". The fact that they bring you out of your misery is no small feat, right? So what if it is some common malaise. Because when you are in the middle of it, even a splitting headache drives you crazy.

I don't even have to go far. I have two amazing doctors at home who also happen to be my parents. So, when I see my mother awake alongside me the entire night trying her best to cure me, that mushy, gooey feeling drowns my heart completely. Maybe, what I said above makes more sense now.

Anyhow, I was pretty much bed-ridden almost the entire next day and had more than usual time to observe things around me. And more than usual time to observe myself. I realized how much I was craving for the company of my people at home and how much closer I felt to them. My routine post-office hours are mostly spent either on my guitar or on casual catching up with friends. Last things on my mind this time around. Wherein phone calls from parents are quickly disposed off (unfortunately with some irritation if the number of calls exceeds umm ..two with the topic of the calls being the same), every call, once an hour, from my mother to check up on me felt so bloody awesome.
As for my siblings, I'm blessed to have such a sweet and caring brother; rushing off to buy food edible for my pampered stomach, albeit a lil grudgingly. Can't blame him. Pressures of competitive exams! And my sister; I think I can take a lesson or two in patience from her. Even though she had a big exam the next day, she took so, so much care of me, chatting with me when I wanted and keeping up with my irritating demands; all the while keeping her studies aside. Though an important point to be mentioned is that the studies would have in any case not commenced before satisfactory doses of sleep, chattering over the phone, commenting on facebook status messages and watching an Upper East Side saga of love and betrayal (dear sis, don't kill me for this),
The two of them probably ignored what a high-headed and impatient big sister I sometimes can be. Even my mother, who sometimes has to bear the brunt of a rebellious 25 year old going through changes in her life .... Basically, the whole thing made me realize, again, how strong and unconditional the bond that we call Family, is. Its not that I am some loner who doesn't value it. I know that when the whole world will turn its back on me, I will always have these people to fall back upon. For me, my family and friends are the most important people in this world. Its just that, in this fast life and in meeting day to day deadlines, I sometimes take my family for granted because I just expect them to be There anytime I need them. And I know that I will be there as well anytime I am required. That's what families are for, right? These couple of days just gave me time to introspect. Since then, I am trying to be more aware of their needs and demands. I just hope this lasts longer than the last time the realization dawned.

To sum it up, in the words of Joey Tribbiani:

".... and there is nothing more important in the whole world .... than family"

The Thought of my day

Writer's BloC

"Hey, I just created my own Blog. Do visit it and let me know how you find it"

Said a friend to me.

A Blog !!?

Only one word pops up in my head every time I hear those words. "Wow".

For years the word Blog has only brought about wonderment. Wonderment that people could actually, like Actually, put down their thoughts, day after day! Well ... frankly, the feeling of amazement isn't that new. It has been there for a long, long time. The only difference between then and now is that pens, "Dear Diary"s and locked drawers have given way to colored fonts, text-fields and the ability to customize privacy settings.

So ... am I over-reacting to this whole idea of managing a blog?? I suppose writing doesn't sound That tough, right?

Wrong. Writing has been my Nemesis. Right through every English exam I have ever written since I was 6. Reading section - Check. Grammar section - Check. Literature section - Check. Writing section - That's where the abyss awaited me. The whole idea of penning (errr ... typing) my thoughts, likes, dislikes, interests, views invoked a strange kind of fear.

And a fear worse than that? Stringing together words to form sentences and paragraphs coherent enough for any average human being to comprehend. Writing is no exception to my random ways of life.

I wonder what sudden inspiration made me create My very own blog (Wow!). I think it came when, out of the many wayward thoughts that make their way through my head everyday, I hit upon a title, fitting enough for a blog. So what if it was already taken. An extra 'hyphen' never harmed anyone.

And now, after struggling for well over three hours with my 'As', 'THEs' and prepositions, surviving battles between various nice-sounding words in my head, and consulting the omniscient Google over a dozen times, I have some 20 lines to call my very first post and a title that doesn't make much sense.
In any case, the single thought in my head right now is to search for some topic for my next post. The fear has given way to curiosity.

By the way,

"I just created my own Blog. Do visit it and let me know how you find it"